Brian Paone

Author // Musician

Missing 1 short story and 2 songs haunts me constantly...

It's one thing when you can't find a song that would complete your collection of one of your favorite bands, or can't track down a 30 years old short story from one of your favorite authors, or even find that college film-school short by your favorite director, but what about when it's YOUR work?

I'll start with music: I have been in recording/touring bands since 1995. I have been in 4 bands that have all commercially released an album(s). My first band, Yellow #1, recorded 19 tracks for our debut album, "Bottle of Rain" (1997). I have all 19 tracks in my possession.

My second band, Drop Kick Jesus, recorded 14 songs for our debut album, "Splatterguts" (1998). I have 13 of the 14 tracks in my possession (I am missing "We Are The Road Crew"). Then we recorded 16 songs for our second album, "Depress The Heart" (2000). I have 15 of the 16 tracks in my possession (I am missing "Chelsea's Going Under").

My third band, The Grave Machine, recorded 10 songs for our debut self-titled album (2004). I have all 10 tracks in my possession.

My fourth band, Transpose, recorded 13 songs for our debut album, "A Delicate Impact" (2007). I have all 13 tracks in my possession. Then we recorded 5 songs for our second album, "Retribution" (2011). I have all 5 tracks in my possession.

So out of the 77 songs that make up my entire musical career up to this point, I have 75 of those songs in my collection, available for other people to listen to, and for sale. The 2 Drop Kick Jesus songs that I am missing, I haven't heard since we left the studio recording those albums. I'm not even sure where they are, or how they got lost (since those songs were cut from the final track listings of each album.) I don't even know if ANYONE has copies of those songs.

Now, on to writing: I've written (and published) 3 novels. But before I started writing my first novel in 2006, I had written a plethora of short stories from 1988-1991. I have EVERY SINGLE ONE of those stories saved in a Word document, except (get this...), the very very very first story I ever wrote... EVER... in my life. It's titled "The Night Is Young" and I still remember the opening line. Its the ONLY story I have ever written that is... gone. I know I will never see that again. It was handwritten on paper and I'm sure it has been destroyed somewhere alone the line.

And I think about those 2 songs, and that 1 short story, probably more than I do all the songs and stories I DO still have in my possession. I am so close to still having everything that makes me "me" when it comes to my "art" (music and writing.)

Maybe one day I'll come across those 2 songs, but I know "The Night is Young" is gone forever. The best I could do about that is try to rewrite what I remember happened. But what irks me the most about that (unlike the 2 songs) is that was the very first story I ever wrote. It would be nice to have my first piece of original work. And I keep holding onto the hope that one day, someone will email me to tell me that they have found a copy of the lost 2 Drop Kick Jesus songs so I can at least be 100% in the collection of music that I wrote.

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